Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Family Sandwich

We've all heard/read a lot over the years about one's position in the family and how this can affect one's personality.  You know the drill:  Only's may be spoiled, but are self-assured; First's take on more responsibility and can become overachievers; Second's are independent and competitive but also expressive and creative; Middle's may feel forgotten and lost yet often have great social skills; and Last's enjoy a lot of attention but can be charming and adventuresome.

An article in yesterday's Arkansas Democrat Gazette discussed "Middle Myths" and how kids may not always fit the perceived outcome.  One mother was quoted about her young daughter, when about 5 or 6, giving her view of the situation.  It's an attitude I love.  She told her mother the middle was the best.  Like a sandwich, the middle is the most important.

She has a valid point.  When we discuss sandwiches, we always name the middle.  We have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a roast beef sandwich, or maybe a hamburger or chicken salad sandwich.  We don't talk about the bread or any other part of the item.  Just the middle filling, the part we focus on consuming.

Given the sandwich analogy, I'd have to equate myself to the pickle on the sandwich.  I prefer Vlasic's Zesty Bread and Butter Pickles, for they are so tasty and add spice and flavor to the whole.  Given this, is it a surprise that I'm a Second?  My younger brother is a Fourth (which doesn't even get a definition in most discussions of family placement), so I suppose he's Mustard.  I say this because I put the mustard on the bottom piece of bread.  Mustard also gives flavor to the meal it just comes a little later in placement.

And yes, the bread is important, as are the First's and Last's in the family.  The bread holds the whole thing together.  You just don't have a sandwich without the bread.  It would all fall apart and be a total mess and would lose its identity of being a sandwich.

In closing, all parts are important and contribute to the whole.  But the middle need not feel forgotten or of less value.  They are an important part of the whole and life wouldn't be the same with them.


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Tracey. So much of what is written about families is a bit off the mark I believe. But the sandwich analagy hit a cord with me. - Karen

  2. You are important to me....first, second, third, or fourth. :))
    My Grandson is the "middle" child, and he seems to be doing just fine.
    I am the oldest of two. Not sure how I'm doing. :))))))
    Love you, my friend.

    1. Thank you Jackie. Always nice to hear from you and glad you stopped by. In my opinion family placement is a bit over blown. - Karen